Forgiving ourselves may be our hardest task. When we look at something we have done, we cannot, with a straight face, say: your sin is forgiven, paid in full. The oncology doctors cannot say: You are in remission, if they know that you still have cancer. We know that feeling sorry does not mean that we are forgiven if we persist in the behavior for which we are ashamed. For us, personally, forgiveness of sins means the removal of sins from our heart.
    There are several elements to this.
1. Recognizing that we have done something wrong. This requires looking at ourselves and our behavior honestly.
2. Admitting to ourselves the real nature of what we did.
3. Taking responsibility for what we have done. We might notice a tendency in ourselves to try to put the blame on someone or something else.
4. Asking God for forgiveness – which is amount to asking God to remove the part of us that led us to do or say something harmful.
5. Making amends
6. Replacing the misdeed with something positive.
    In all this it is important to remember that God forgives us all the time – before, during and after we sin.
    Take, for example, someone who stops smoking might go through the following phases.
1. Admit that smoking is harmful
2. Stop smoking
3. Experience losing the desire to smoke
4. Deal with the damage done to the body by smoking